But that's not really what I wanted to talk about. What I wanted to talk about was the fact that we WENT to New York City yesterday!!!!! We have lived about three hours from NYC (see, in context I can do this) for three years. But we've never taken the children. My boys are seven and five. They are a handful. We don't get out much. We live a very nice, simple life, close to home because that is what we can manage right now. I would love to go places. It's just not easy, and therefore is not often very fun. I fought this for a while and tried to eke it out in the interest of "conquering" an experience. Ultimately, though, I do not want to live life conquering experiences. I want to enjoy them. So, we do things that I know my children can succeed at and we enjoy very simple things. That's where we are. That is not where I dream of being, forever, but that is where we are today.
NYC is not simple. It is fraught with hazards. I don't mean violent crime, drugs, terrorist attacks, and hurricanes. I'm not even talking about those "city" things that scare people: subway maps, taxi cabs, millions of strangers, hustle and bustle, and other fish out of water stuff. I'm talking about those things that scare me, the mother of these two boys to death: where do we go to the bathroom, what if Reese slips away from me on the street, how do you balance boredom with safe exploration, will I enjoy any moment of this???
So, armed with my trusty husband, aka City Boy, we set off. The first obstacle was to actually get there. Hurricane Irene arrived in our area on Saturday and Sunday, leaving a real mess of things. We had originally planned our trip for Monday but changed it because of the numerous road closings. One day later we altered our route and hoped for the best. We got it! Beautiful, sunny skies stayed with us the entire day. We encountered exactly zero detours, closures, or unexpected traffic back ups. Okay, well except for the U.S. Open taking precedence at all Citi Field throughways, but that was pretty minor.
Our primary reason for going to NYC this week was to take both boys to a New York Mets baseball game. Reuben grew up a Mets fan and I later adopted the Yankees as my own team. We are kind of a split household. Our oldest son, Ethan, pretends to be a die-hard Mets fan. Although he regularly roots against them when they play the Pirates or any other team whose mascot sounds cooler than whatever he thinks a "Met" is. Our youngest son, Reese always roots for whichever team is winning whichever event he is watching. Reuben and I just love baseball and have agreed that the boys may cheer for any team they wish as long as it is not the Red Sox or Braves. We especially enjoy going to minor league baseball games where the game seems more pure and less tainted by drunk fans. I love my Yankees, but I don't really enjoy being with drunk fans in Yankee Stadium. To me, going to a Mets game is just about as close to minor league as you can get, so I advocate taking the boys to Citi Field over Yankee Stadium at this age.
Our game wasn't scheduled to start until 7pm. We knew we had time to spend in the City. So, we made a list of things we thought would be fun, yet meaningful for our boys. Our plan was to drag them around as much as possible so that by game time they would be exhausted enough to sit through the game. See the perspective here? We started by parking at Citi Field and having a tailgate picnic. Perfect! We hit the port-a-potties then hopped on the 7 Train to Times Square. Subways with maps are beautiful things. We kept the boys engaged and the skyline kept them enthralled all the way to the tunnel. Well, and there is NOTHING better than going through a tunnel, so that got us to Times Square, which also, took care of itself. It was like a commercial 50 stories high and three blocks wide. Enough said. Back onto the subway and over to Brooklyn. By this time they felt like real pros. I could actually see the confidence in their faces as they fully grasped how the schedule worked. So cool! We got off the train in Brooklyn and I took a cleansing breath. We were doing great! This had been so much fun for everyone. Yea, us!!!!! As we approached the Brooklyn Bridge walkway I explained to Ethan that this was going to be a very special walk for us all. This was going to be the very first time that ANY of us had ever done this and we were going to do it together. So many of the things we have shown our boys are things we loved as children or were excited to show them for their first time but certainly not ours. This was a whole family first experience. AND it was extra special because the bridge we were about to cross is Reuben's favorite structure in the world. Reuben is a civil engineer. Structures matter. This is the King of all structures. This is a big deal. It did not disappoint. We had amazing views of Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty, which the boys didn't realize was in NYC. Big win for mom and dad there. We also had a view of the new World Trade Center Tower One that is being built. I took that moment, on that bridge, to pick up Ethan and give him his first explanation of what happened in that spot almost 10 years ago. I told him I wanted him to remember standing with me on that spot and seeing that important place for his whole life. I told him to tell his children about that moment and to bring them here some day. It felt good to be a mom. It felt good to give Ethan MY version of that story and to be the first one to shape his views about that day. I felt powerful. I felt good. We treated the boys to ice cold bottled water after the long, historic walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and headed back to the subway for our trip Uptown. The next stop was MY favorite structure in the world, the Empire State Building. I have such nostalgia for that building. It actually had nothing to do with its part in several movies. It had everything to do with a book I read as a child about an airplane becoming lost in the fog and crashing into it. The details of that true story have stayed with me through my entire life. They, of course, became even more poignant to me after the attacks of September 11, 2001. I love that building. Reuben loves that I love ANY building. It's even better that the building I love is in New York City. So, the next stop was 33rd Street. As we exited the train I had my usual death grip on my appointed son's hand. They put up with that very well all day. Reuben and Ethan dashed out first with Reese and I directly behind them. As we crossed the threshold Reese abruptly sank. I looked down, squeezing ever harder on his tiny hand, to realize that he was now in between the train and the platform with only his hips and above visible! I quickly made the necessary adjustments to fish him out and check his face for some expression of his emotional well being. It all took about three seconds, but it was clear to me in that moment that this was a pivotal moment in our lives. How quickly it can happen! He was fine. He was safe. But as we reconvened with Reuben and Ethan I felt the magnitude of it all come washing over me. I realized that Reuben hadn't really seen what happened. He thought that Reese had fallen horizontally in the doorway and I helped him up. Once I explained that he fell vertically we both took a moment of pause and another cleansing breath. We had averted absolute catastrophe. We were certain of that. Reese was sad that he had done everything he was supposed to and he still fell. He assured me that he hadn't been fooling around, which I knew was truly the case. It was just one of those fluke things. His confidence took a bit of a hit after that and he asked for more assistance while crossing the thresholds of the next train, but he quickly got back on that horse and ultimately owned the NYC subway system! We made it up to the street again and gazed upon "my building." Ethan corrected me numerous times, "It's not really your building, Mom." I let him be correct and went on still calling it "my building." From there we walked to Grand Central Station, which was appreciated by everyone. The boys especially enjoyed the steep walkways leading down from the main floor to the dining area, which also yielded nice bathrooms. By then we were on the home stretch and had just one subway ride back to Citi Field for our evening entertainment and the earlier promised ice cream. There were no other near death experiences. Ethan got a new Mets shirt with Reyes and the number seven on the back. This was gold to Ethan because he is seven years old now. His David Wright jersey with the number five on the back was relegated to Reese for the day because Reese just turned five and Ethan had another T-shirt with the Mets logo on it. The "Seven" T-shirt quickly made the whole situation right. We found our seats and went about the business of sitting down, relaxing, enjoying some good ballpark food, and marveling at the day that had just unfolded for us. The boys were promised ice cream after the seventh inning stretch. I knew I still had to be on my "A-game" and having that important carrot out in front of them worked wonders. Unfortunately, the Marlins went on a five run tear at the top of the seventh inning delaying that gratification for a loooooooong time. I almost gave in as the runs kept coming but decided that these boys were up to the challenge. They had handled NYC like pros. Those ice cream helmets were certainly welcome sights when the time came. They devoured them with almost permanent grins on their faces. But their eyes were growing heavy in the crisp night air. I was grateful the Mets didn't mount a comeback. The game ended about 10pm. We walked the short distance to our car. Ethan sobbed because the Mets lost, but Reuben worked to comfort him. We got them dressed in snuggly pajamas and put them in the car with their favorite blankets. As we drove back home I was overjoyed. What an amazing day I had had. The giddiness, combined with my purposeful caffeine overload, fueled my part of the drive home. Reese fell asleep almost immediately, but Ethan held out until 1:30. This was a reminder to me of why we don't do this as much as we would like. But it let me revel in the victory of that day. And it gave me hope that we are going in the direction of the life we want to live.
