What to Expect When You Go To the Dentist...with MY son

 I gathered up all my library books today to return. I giggled as I added to the stack, What To Expect When You Go To The Dentist. It was a children's book I checked out because my youngest son had a dental cleaning/check up scheduled and I wanted to remind him what it would be like. It had been some time since he had seen the dentist and I like to be prepared in all situations. I'm that kind of mom. Leave no stone unturned, I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Failure to plan on your part doesn't constitute and emergency on my part. You know, that sort of thing But, yes, I giggled and rolled my eyes. That book certainly did NOT prepare me for the last week of my life.

If that book had been written for me it would have included the chapter:  "What to do when you learn that you are six months overdue for a cleaning." Or, as I like to call it, "It would have been nice to have one of those reminder cards mailed to me."  That would have been followed by the chapter entitled:  "Guess what? You know that mouth that was in pristine condition 18 months ago? Well, you really blew it. Now he has 5 cavities. And one is all the way to the nerve."

It's clear to me that I need to write a different version of this book.  There would be many chapters, but they would be very short.  It would go something like this:

Chapter One -

How To Convince Your Five Year Old That He Wants To Have a Four Inch Needle Plunged Into His Gum-Twice!

Chapter Two-

The Vacuum They Just Put Into Your Mouth Is Nothing Like the One At Home That Terrifies You

Chapter Three-

Pay No Attention To That Huge Chunk of Cotton That Makes You Gag Repeatedly

Chapter Four-

Keep Your Patience As You Repeat This Line Over and Over:  "Open really wide, now put your chin back up into the air.  Oh, now open wide again."

Chapter Five-

Having a Death Grip On Both Your Child's Hands Does NOT Constitute Restraining Him - Honest!

Chapter Six-

There Is No Way We Are Going To Accomplish Our Original Goal Today In the Time We Now Have Left

Chapter Seven-

There Is No Way We Are Going To Accomplish Our Revised Goal Today In the Time We Now Have Left

Chapter Eight-

There Is No Way We Are Going To Ever See Your Child Again - Good Luck!

At this point we get into the real "meat" of the book.  All that other stuff was just to set the tone.  So, it seems appropriate to add a little text.

Chapter Nine-

Welcome To Your Pediatric Dental Specialist!

Even though you have x-rays less than a week old, a temporary filling that is hanging on by a thread, and four more in line behind that one we need to follow our protocol and have you come in so we can introduce ourselves first. Then we'll send you home in the same condition and make you come back again for a REAL visit several weeks later.  I have a "Hello" visit available in six weeks.  See you then!

Chapter Ten-
Let's Expedite This, Shall We?

We have an opening tomorrow.  It's at a really inconvenient time.  Can you come?

Chapter Eleven-

We're So Glad You're Here!

Welcome to the arcade we call a waiting room! Your child will not want to leave-EVER. Not even to see the doctor.  Oh, remember when we confirmed that we take your insurance? Actually, we DON'T. And this is going to cost a small fortune

Chapter Twelve-

It's Time To Meet The Doctor

Actually, I'm the person you see for twenty minutes before you get to meet the doctor.  Now I'm going to show your child a movie that scares him while I make you repeat the answers to the complete medical history you just filled out.  Here's the doctor! Let's build a rapport. Now that we've done that I'm going to suggest that you get this work scheduled as soon as possible   It doesn't matter which doctor it's with.   Yeah, because TWO of those cavities are down to the nerve. Oh, and we probably can't salvage this one with a regular filling. We'll have to cap it, if we can save it at all.  Our rapport thing?  That doesn't really apply in this case.  Just get this kid's mouth fixed before one or more of those babies abscesses!

Chapter Thirteen-

Time To Check Out

Here is a coin for our toy vending machine which only spits out toys you don't want. The ones in the pictures don't even exist!  Here is all the really scary paperwork about the procedure your son needs to have done as soon as possible.  Oh, look!  We have an opening tomorrow!  Guess those folks didn't want to deal with the snow storm that's on the way.  So, before you've had a chance to read over all the material should we schedule this?  Great!  Here's your estimate. We'll need a big chunk of that right now.  Okay, see you soon!

Good luck walking past that arcade again!  Can I get the door for you as you carry your son screaming from the arcade? Have a good one! Don't forget to pick up that prescription we're calling in. You'll need it tonight!

Chapter Fourteen-

Pre-Op:  Step One

Sorry, we don't have that medicine in stock, but we can have it for you tomorrow.

Chapter Fifteen-

Pre-Op:  Step Two

Sure, we can call that into another pharmacy, but the one you want doesn't seem to have a phone.

Chapter Sixteen-

Pre-Op:  Step Three

Now that we have kept you up two hours later than usual so you'll be really sleepy tomorrow it's time for your medicine.  Just take this one teaspoon of liquid and we can all go to bed.

Chapter Seventeen-

Pre-Op:  Step Four

I'll just get those puke stained pajamas off of you while Daddy mops the rest of the vomit off the floor.

Chapter Eighteen-

Pre-Op:  Step Five

Please, please, please swallow this one teaspoon of liquid so we can all go to bed?  How about if I bribe you with another video? One more game? I could yell at you instead? Maybe if I cry you'll take it? I haven't tried threatening you yet. That seems like a good idea at this hour. Of course you're not going to throw up again. (But if you do I'm in big trouble off because we only have enough for one mishap and we've already had that.) You're taking this to help settle your stomach. Please stop wiping vomit on my shirt. I'm guessing that this process was not intended to take 90 minutes to successfully complete.

Chapter Nineteen-

Pre-Op:  Step Six

 

Sorry, no breakfast today. But you DO get to have one more teaspoon of that liquid you loved so much last night. And this time we only have 10 minutes to get this done because we have an active snowstorm, with six inches already on the ground, in rush hour traffic to get through. But don't worry, everything is just great.

Chapter Twenty-

Arrive and Settle In

We're back! This time we brought big brother because school was cancelled due to all this snow.

Hey, there's that arcade again! Sorry you only get to look at it as you walk by because it's time to go back to drink some more medicine I'm sure you'll love.  Let's try to think of some new negotiation techniques. Or how about you just swallow the darn medicine?  Thanks, Big Brother! I love that you're concerned about your little brother, but can you stop asking him if he needs to throw up again?  And it's sweet that you want him to play that game as well as you do, but can you please leave him alone so he can actually fall asleep?  Hold him up so we can take two more x-rays.

Chapter Twenty One-

Pre-Op Pow-Wow

Guess what? We found one more cavity! So that's a total of six. Two that need baby root canals, one that needs a stainless steel cap and three regular old fillings. He's going to need so much Novocaine he won't have the use of his face for much of the day.

Chapter Twenty Two-

You Gotta Let Him Go

Oh, it's time to take him away? And how appropriate that it is at the EXACT moment in the movie when the mother is completely distraught while saying goodbye to her baby boy as he drives away to college. Where are the tissues? I'm a wreck.

Chapter Twenty Three-
Surgery Update Number One

He's doing fine. He's not fighting or anything, but he is yelling at us quite a bit. He's great.

Chapter Twenty Four-

Surgery Update Number Two

Still looking good. He's not fighting, but he's very aware of every little thing we do and he's not too happy about any of it.

Chapter Twenty Five-

Surgery Update Number Three

Almost done. Just finishing up now. Why don't you go sign over the deed to your house while we finish up and we'll bring him out to you in a couple of minutes.

Chapter Twenty Six-
 All Done!

Here is your son, the elephant man. You'll want to carry him to the car.

He is really thirsty. Good luck with that.

Wiggle, Wiggle, Twist.

Today my eight year old lost a tooth.  This is his eighth tooth to come out, so we're kind of "over it."  But the last week has still had a lot of anticipation around the tooth, the tooth fairy, and the like.  For days it has been difficult for him to eat and he has had his hands in his mouth constantly.  Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, twist.  Nothing.  Sigh.  He even had a regularly scheduled visit to the dentist two days ago.  They oohed and aahed with us and assured us that a good, swift breeze will take care of it, but it remained steadfast.  Last night I asked Ethan's taekwondo instructor if he could "accidentally" punch Ethan in the mouth to "take care of it."  He enjoyed the humor, but obviously thought more of his future as an instructor than ridding us of our nuisance.  It was clear we were on our own.  Patience, young Jedi.

Wouldn't you know it?  This morning we got a gift of epic proportions.  I'm talking one of the big ones.  Kids find joy in many things, but pure kid ecstasy is reserved for a very few:  the man in the sleigh, the bunny, the fairy, finding a penny in a parking lot, fireworks, puddles, and so much snow that school is either delayed or cancelled altogether.  Now, it's January in upstate New York and we have had NO SNOW.  None!  My boys honestly believed that there would be none this year.  They had stashed away their dreams of building a snowman.  There would be no snow angels, no sledding, no snowboarding, no snowball fights, no icicles, and no days off from school.  Winter was just going to be cold and brown.  Where is the fun in that?  Even I, a Southern, Winter-Hater at heart, was missing the white stuff.  That all changed this morning.

We woke up to a beautiful, white snow scape.  My five year old walked into the bedroom, paused, and whisper-screamed, "YES!"  He asked if I knew why he was smiling.  I said, "Because it snowed?"  And then Reese, never to be outdone said, "Close.  I'm smiling because it is the winter wonderland I have been waiting for."  Winter can't be all bad when you get to hear stuff like that, right?  Ethan is more Golden Retriever than boy sometimes, and when he discovered the snow I was reminded of that.  He did not whisper scream.  He belted out in unabashed glee, "SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  He ran around, not quite sure what to do with himself.  He tripped over things, ran into things, and continued on his dance of joy until he tired himself out."  Good dog.  He had forgotten all about that mean ole' tooth.  It was a good thing.  We had breakfast, suited up, and headed outside to enjoy our gift before they needed to leave for school two hours later than usual.

I was so stinking proud of myself.  "Look at what I'm willing to do for my children!  I hate the cold.  I hate snow, in general, but I'm taking them out to live their tiny little dreams.  Good mommy!!!"  We built that snowman!  They had a snowball fight while I shoveled.  This was do-able.  I could enjoy this.  It was great snow.  A lovely white blanket was draped over our entire lawn and driveway.  It made everything look clean and magical.  Eventually, though, the boys got cold and we trudged inside for hot chocolate with marshmallows.  Again, I'm a good mommy.  This is the stuff I have always dreamed of doing well.

Soon enough it was time to suit up again to get to school.  We gathered snow pants, lunch boxes, back packs, hats, gloves, and "inside shoes" together and began the journey to the car.  This is the part of winter I don't love so much.  Easy tasks become difficult.  I sent the boys ahead of me as I gathered my warm chai to go.  Before I could get out the door I heard Ethan screaming.  He tends to communicate in that way a lot, so I wasn't overly concerned...until I saw the red pile of snow below him as he balanced halfway in, halfway out of the car.  Dear God!  What has happened!?!  I bounded over the snow, forgetting the sensible channels I had created with my shovel.  This was "get there now" time.  As I got to him I could discern that he was screaming, "My tooth is out!!!!!"  Ah, HA!!!!!!!  That was not a scary scream.  That blood was the only blood a mom can be happy about seeing.  We're good!  Except that now, Ethan's tiny white tooth is somewhere obscured in four inches of snow that completely covers our world and we have to get to school RIGHT NOW.  Never mind that Ethan looks like he just bit the head off of a chicken.  Gross!  He's a bloody mess but we are NOT going back in that house!  We worked too hard to get to the car the first time.  There is no turning back now.

Luckily I carry the contents of a half bath in my car at all times.  I put Ethan to work cleaning his face and hands, put a gauze square in the gap where his tooth was just moments earlier, shifted into drive and off we went.  Just another commute.

I came back home and surveyed the scene.  Of course I didn't find the tooth.  For all I know it could be in the car.  All the blood was outside the car on the ground, which leads me to believe it is still in the snow.  But I don't know that.  I shoveled the suspect snow into a bucket on my porch in the hopes that when that melts there will be a tooth at the bottom.  I have heard many stories about children swallowing a tooth.  Apparently if you leave a note, explaining why you have nothing to leave the tooth fairy she will find it in her heart to leave you something anyway.  She's a trusting soul.  Ethan is comforted by that idea.  We'll test it out tonight.  But, honestly, have you ever heard of a child losing a tooth in a snow drift?  Really!?!?!  This is why I wanted to be a mom.  No doubt about it.  Today is one of those priceless days.  Now, if I can just find that tooth I'll be mother of the year!

Seasons Change...

I went exploring this morning. I laced up my running shoes, grabbed some gloves and a vest and bounded out into the morning sunlight to see what I could find. It was chilly this morning. In fact there was a frost warning last night, the first of the season. It was a good reminder that seasons do change and that the glorious heat of Summer is fading. I would be really sad if I didn't love Fall so much! This is the end of the first full week of school for my boys. That means it's the end of my first full week of being a stay at home mom. I feel like I should whisper when I say, "I love it." It seems like women are supposed to feel conflicted about abandoning a career or contributing financially to the household. I have felt that conflict before. Even recently I wondered if my self-worth could sustain this decision. I have been a little nervous since Reuben and I made this choice last Spring. But Reuben and I are a team. And one of the most important parts about being a good teammate is understanding your role and the roles of others. If we all try to do the same jobs the team doesn't work very well. So, we choose our teams wisely, divide the workload appropriately, practice a lot, and then trust our teammates. We both agree that I am the best person to take on the full task of mothering our children and all that comes with it. I'm lucky to see eye to eye with my husband on this. I know this is not always the case.

The last school year was not a disaster, but many things were missed or poorly done on my part because I was trying to work enough to help out but not so much that I lost sight of the importance of managing the home well. It proved to be almost futile. We both believe that this year is the year I get to do my mommy gig really well. I'm psyched! I'm grateful. I'm ready. There is much to be done. Many projects await. Not the least of which are baby books for the boys. I'm embarrassed that I haven't done one for either of them. This stuff really matters to me. I have had a hard time reconciling how it is that some really important things haven't been done. Then I take a deep breath and reflect a bit on the last five years or so. Oh, yeah. It's been a lot. It has been overwhelming. That we are where we are is pretty darn good. Then I remind myself to be sure to take some time to appreciate life. So, this morning, I went exploring.

To be honest, I was hoping to come face to face with Bradley Cooper or Ryan Gosling. They are in my City this Summer filming a movie. I understand that they are going to be filming in one of my neighbor's homes two streets over. My curiosity was killing me! I wound my way through the streets so that I would come out right at the house in question. But there was no movie stuff going on today. No matter, I've still got a run to enjoy! I wound further through my neighborhood to the adjacent college campus. It was a beautiful, sunny morning. I ran through campus just as students were changing classes, so the sidewalks were busier than I expected. Most of the students were still groggy and wearing sweat pants or the like. But, a few were smartly dressed and walking with a purpose. I giggled to myself that that was me when I was in college. I felt like dressing for success was always a noble endeavor. In fact, it was no different for me this morning. This cold snap had caught me a bit unawares. But I managed to find my gloves and vest easily enough. Truth is, once I got about a mile into the run I would have been more comfortable without the vest, but I just worked through it and promised to remember that next time. I intentionally left my iPod at home. Today I wanted to hear the sounds of the world. Usually when I run I focus on the run. My music helps me stay on track and on pace. Today I was determined to run an easy run. Unplugging helped that along.

As I ran I listened to my breathing, to the wind, to a church bell chime, to a train in the distance, and to the babbling of our brook. I'm so glad I gave myself permission to take it all in. In this world of competition, excess, and demands it's so important to allow time for play. I like where I am in my life. I like the person I am right now. I like the mother I am allowing myself to be. I like the shift that I'm allowing to happen. The life I have lived lately has been too hard. I'm moving on and leaving some baggage behind. I'm packing up my self doubt, my hopelessness, my dread, my teeth grinding, and my tight-fisted stance. I'm gonna take that baggage and put it down right next to the one marked, "Liesl at 40!" I'm liking 40 so far. I'm gonna run with this bag for a while. It's a lot less heavy.

Fun Size!

I've noticed that our retail establishments are replacing the "Back to School" displays with Halloween candy displays this week. I'm good with that. But I can't help but laugh every time I see a bag of teeny tiny candy bars advertised as "FUN SIZE." Really? Eating a candy bar the size of a matchbox car is fun for some people? My idea of fun? Bring that 16 ounce Hershey bar over here. THAT'S fun! You go and enjoy your modest chocolate. I'll be the girl eating the piece that's bigger than my head.

I Love My Husband!

I love my husband. I really, really love my husband. I think he's a great man. I know it's not particularly cool. I know it's more "current" to complain about inadequacies. I know I'm supposed to point out how insensitive he is about something or another. That's just not my thing. I picked what I like, and I like what I picked! Some women call me lucky. There is that. But I also made a point to learn from past mistakes. I knew what I was getting...and it was good! My husband is a gift I gave to myself almost ten years ago. And he's the gift that keeps on giving.

Today is a perfect example. Today is the first day of school for our boys. Ethan started second grade and Reese started kindergarten. Pretty big stuff. They're ready. I'm prepared. And I do this thing right. Not only do both boys have all of their requested school supplies packed in their backpacks, they also have healthy snacks, fabulous lunches, and treats for their teachers (all FIVE of them)! I baked individual apples spice cakes and tied Dunkin' Donuts gift cards to each one for both of their head teachers, a special ed teacher, and two aids. They're all covered. Remember, I said my boys are a handful? This can't hurt. It was shaping up to be a good day. I knew that something was going to be wacky. Couldn't tell you what, exactly, but I was just ready for a shoe to drop. I like the saying, "Prepare for the worst and hope for the best." So, I was ready. When Reuben (my wonderful husband) got home last night he told me he was going in to work late so he can be around to help for the first day. Was I surprised? No. Was I still delighted? You bet! That emotional and physical support made the whole morning so much easier. It was still squirrely. But so manageable. Thank goodness because (here's that shoe I was waiting for) it was raining BUCKETS!!!!! That always makes for hardship, but when each boy has two bags, rain coats, rain boots, puddles up to their shins, and then you add cars full of confused and disoriented people everywhere life can get downright scary. Now, add to that the fact that I also have two bags and a basket full of goodies, which equals no hands for little dudes. Even I, the math challenged girl, know this is a formula for disaster. But with my hubby by my side it was cake. He loaded the boys in the car, took bags without questioning my sanity, and validated my decision to whip around in traffic when the perfect parking spot was on the other side of the street. He even marveled at my textbook parallel parking maneuver. It was amazing, if I do say so myself! It was nice to have a grown up around to appreciate those things today. Small victories go a long way in my life. Reuben celebrates those with me.

We got back to the house and paused just a second to congratulate ourselves on a morning well done. I thanked him for all his help and gave him a smooch. Reuben grabbed his lunch, and a bag of trash on his way out the door. We promised to chat later. Yes, we actually have to schedule that, but that helps make it happen. Then I spied on him as he carved out a temporary drainage ditch for the rain. The deluge had resulted in a bit of a pond beside our driveway. That's my engineer! As he drove away I giggled at the waterfall that gushed from the tailgate of his truck. That's a freakin' lot of rain!!! I'm so grateful I had his help today.

We have done well to guard our relationship over the years. It needs more time than we have to give, but we are doing pretty darn well keeping it warm while we attend to more immediate matters. I think respect and mutual admiration take care of a lot of the holes. But, today, I wanted to take time to publicly love the man I married.

To Boldly Go...

I went with my family to New York City yesterday.  I would love to write it the way my husband did, "Gonna drop some NYC today."  But I'm not that cool.  I'm not sure I would know what NYC is out of context.  I know I would get it eventually, but then that makes me even less cool.  And that's not my goal.  I want to draw attention away from the lack of coolness I display.  So, I'll just say, "New York City" and people who know me will hear me say it with a bit of a Southern drawl.

But that's not really what I wanted to talk about.  What I wanted to talk about was the fact that we WENT to New York City yesterday!!!!!  We have lived about three hours from NYC (see, in context I can do this) for three years.  But we've never taken the children.  My boys are seven and five.  They are a handful.  We don't get out much.  We live a very nice, simple life, close to home because that is what we can manage right now.  I would love to go places.  It's just not easy, and therefore is not often very fun.  I fought this for a while and tried to eke it out in the interest of "conquering" an experience.  Ultimately, though, I do not want to live life conquering experiences.  I want to enjoy them.  So, we do things that I know my children can succeed at and we enjoy very simple things.  That's where we are.  That is not where I dream of being, forever, but that is where we are today.

NYC is not simple.  It is fraught with hazards. I don't mean violent crime, drugs, terrorist attacks, and hurricanes.  I'm not even talking about those "city" things that scare people:  subway maps, taxi cabs, millions of strangers, hustle and bustle, and other fish out of water stuff.  I'm talking about those things that scare me, the mother of these two boys to death:  where do we go to the bathroom, what if Reese slips away from me on the street, how do you balance boredom with safe exploration, will I enjoy any moment of this???

So, armed with my trusty husband, aka City Boy, we set off.  The first obstacle was to actually get there.  Hurricane Irene arrived in our area on Saturday and Sunday, leaving a real mess of things.  We had originally planned our trip for Monday but changed it because of the numerous road closings.  One day later we altered our route and hoped for the best.  We got it!  Beautiful, sunny skies stayed with us the entire day.  We encountered exactly zero detours, closures, or unexpected traffic back ups.  Okay, well except for the U.S. Open taking precedence at all Citi Field throughways, but that was pretty minor.

Our primary reason for going to NYC this week was to take both boys to a New York Mets baseball game.  Reuben grew up a Mets fan and I later adopted the Yankees as my own team.  We are kind of a split household.  Our oldest son, Ethan, pretends to be a die-hard Mets fan.  Although he regularly roots against them when they play the Pirates or any other team whose mascot sounds cooler than whatever he thinks a "Met" is.  Our youngest son, Reese always roots for whichever team is winning whichever event he is watching.  Reuben and I just love baseball and have agreed that the boys may cheer for any team they wish as long as it is not the Red Sox or Braves.  We especially enjoy going to minor league baseball games where the game seems more pure and less tainted by drunk fans.  I love my Yankees, but I don't really enjoy being with drunk fans in Yankee Stadium.  To me, going to a Mets game is just about as close to minor league as you can get, so I advocate taking the boys to Citi Field over Yankee Stadium at this age.

Our game wasn't scheduled to start until 7pm.  We knew we had time to spend in the City.  So, we made a list of things we thought would be fun, yet meaningful for our boys.  Our plan was to drag them around as much as possible so that by game time they would be exhausted enough to sit through the game.  See the perspective here?  We started by parking at Citi Field and having a tailgate picnic. Perfect!  We hit the port-a-potties then hopped on the 7 Train to Times Square.  Subways with maps are beautiful things.  We kept the boys engaged and the skyline kept them enthralled all the way to the tunnel.  Well, and there is NOTHING better than going through a tunnel, so that got us to Times Square, which also, took care of itself.  It was like a commercial 50 stories high and three blocks wide.  Enough said.  Back onto the subway and over to Brooklyn.  By this time they felt like real pros.  I could actually see the confidence in their faces as they fully grasped how the schedule worked.  So cool!  We got off the train in Brooklyn and I took a cleansing breath.  We were doing great!  This had been so much fun for everyone.  Yea, us!!!!!  As we approached the Brooklyn Bridge walkway I explained to Ethan that this was going to be a very special walk for us all.  This was going to be the very first time that ANY of us had ever done this and we were going to do it together.  So many of the things we have shown our boys are things we loved as children or were excited to show them for their first time but certainly not ours.  This was a whole family first experience.  AND it was extra special because the bridge we were about to cross is Reuben's favorite structure in the world.  Reuben is a civil engineer.  Structures matter.  This is the King of all structures.  This is a big deal.  It did not disappoint.  We had amazing views of Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty, which the boys didn't realize was in NYC.  Big win for mom and dad there.  We also had a view of the new World Trade Center Tower One that is being built.  I took that moment, on that bridge, to pick up Ethan and give him his first explanation of what happened in that spot almost 10 years ago.  I told him I wanted him to remember standing with me on that spot and seeing that important place for his whole life.  I told him to tell his children about that moment and to bring them here some day.  It felt good to be a mom.  It felt good to give Ethan MY version of that story and to be the first one to shape his views about that day.  I felt powerful.  I felt good.  We treated the boys to ice cold bottled water after the long, historic walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and headed back to the subway for our trip Uptown.  The next stop was MY favorite structure in the world, the Empire State Building.  I have such nostalgia for that building.  It actually had nothing to do with its part in several movies.  It had everything to do with a book I read as a child about an airplane becoming lost in the fog and crashing into it.  The details of that true story have stayed with me through my entire life.  They, of course, became even more poignant to me after the attacks of September 11, 2001.  I love that building.  Reuben loves that I love ANY building.  It's even better that the building I love is in New York City.  So, the next stop was 33rd Street.  As we exited the train I had my usual death grip on my appointed son's hand.  They put up with that very well all day.  Reuben and Ethan dashed out first with Reese and I directly behind them.  As we crossed the threshold Reese abruptly sank.  I looked down, squeezing ever harder on his tiny hand, to realize that he was now in between the train and the platform with only his hips and above visible!  I quickly made the necessary adjustments to fish him out and check his face for some expression of his emotional well being.  It all took about three seconds, but it was clear to me in that moment that this was a pivotal moment in our lives.  How quickly it can happen!  He was fine.  He was safe.  But as we reconvened with Reuben and Ethan I felt the magnitude of it all come washing over me.  I realized that Reuben hadn't really seen what happened.  He thought that Reese had fallen horizontally in the doorway and I helped him up.  Once I explained that he fell vertically we both took a moment of pause and another cleansing breath.  We had averted absolute catastrophe.  We were certain of that.  Reese was sad that he had done everything he was supposed to and he still fell.  He assured me that he hadn't been fooling around, which I knew was truly the case.  It was just one of those fluke things.  His confidence took a bit of a hit after that and he asked for more assistance while crossing the thresholds of the next train, but he quickly got back on that horse and ultimately owned the NYC subway system!  We made it up to the street again and gazed upon "my building."  Ethan corrected me numerous times, "It's not really your building, Mom."  I let him be correct and went on still calling it "my building."  From there we walked to Grand Central Station, which was appreciated by everyone.  The boys especially enjoyed the steep walkways leading down from the main floor to the dining area, which also yielded nice bathrooms.  By then we were on the home stretch and had just one subway ride back to Citi Field for our evening entertainment and the earlier promised ice cream.  There were no other near death experiences.  Ethan got a new Mets shirt with Reyes and the number seven on the back.  This was gold to Ethan because he is seven years old now.  His David Wright jersey with the number five on the back was relegated to Reese for the day because Reese just turned five and Ethan had another T-shirt with the Mets logo on it.  The "Seven" T-shirt quickly made the whole situation right.  We found our seats and went about the business of sitting down, relaxing, enjoying some good ballpark food, and marveling at the day that had just unfolded for us.  The boys were promised ice cream after the seventh inning stretch.  I knew I still had to be on my "A-game" and having that important carrot out in front of them worked wonders.  Unfortunately, the Marlins went on a five run tear at the top of the seventh inning delaying that gratification for a loooooooong time.  I almost gave in as the runs kept coming but decided that these boys were up to the challenge.  They had handled NYC like pros.  Those ice cream helmets were certainly welcome sights when the time came.  They devoured them with almost permanent grins on their faces.  But their eyes were growing heavy in the crisp night air.  I was grateful the Mets didn't mount a comeback.  The game ended about 10pm.  We walked the short distance to our car.  Ethan sobbed because the Mets lost, but Reuben worked to comfort him.  We got them dressed in snuggly pajamas and put them in the car with their favorite blankets.  As we drove back home I was overjoyed.  What an amazing day I had had.  The giddiness, combined with my purposeful caffeine overload, fueled my part of the drive home.  Reese fell asleep almost immediately, but Ethan held out until 1:30.  This was a reminder to me of why we don't do this as much as we would like.  But it let me revel in the victory of that day.  And it gave me hope that we are going in the direction of the life we want to live.